Journaling

My photo

Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The down and dirty

Before I start another rant I have to say I love my new job. I have worked for large banks and smaller ones and this one has the best culture and attitude I've ever experienced. I am truly, truly, blessed with this new job. I have training I'll be flown out for soon and it is really exciting.

Now, I just have to say that our legal system is really disgusting. I had several conversations today with attorney's and received papers from the court which they so very nicely gave to my 14 year old to give to me. Kylie was in tears when I got home. The indifference in this world is unbelievable and I just feel so bad for folks that are subject to it when they are in need.

I have worked on large loan programs targeted towards borrowers who need a break, who never thought in a million years they would live in a safe neighborhood let alone own a home. I personally approved hundreds of loans to change families lives for the better. I did it responsibly by the way. I hope that in the future I again will be able to bless people and give them a chance to own a home and feel safe.

I called my attorney who I have worked with for 20 years and sent him all of my documents today and he is going to go to work on our problem here. I feel better knowing it is in the hands of a man who is a good and caring person, very capable, and that I can trust. Years ago he saved Kylie from a very bad situation. The legal papers had to be done immediately, putting everything aside, he acted quickly and saved her.

I pray God to bless the man who helped me get a car and Lloyd my attorney. The vultures are circling here now and people are turning their backs on me. When circumstances get really bad you begin to see who people really are and their is the judging and the gossip.

I also thank God for the man who hired me and gave me such a wonderful job. I've been told the judge that will be dealing with our case is very hard and callused, hopefully everyone will pray for this man and the situation so that it is just and fair.

Pray for Kylie, she is trying to be strong but as mature as she is this is just to much for a kid to have to deal with alone.

Again, I only wish the keep us all together, the rest, is just unimportant to me. Fear is such a powerful emotion, it is the enemy and I think for the last year I have been living with paralyzing fear. I will be so relieved not to have to live under fear when this is settled and most likely I would have made better decisions if I hadn't been gripped by fear for so long.

Mercy is not really something I've encountered for awhile, it's a shame because God is so merciful. I have to pray (even though it's hard) for the people who I leased this property from, it is the right thing to do, they are not happy and long after this problem is over for me I think they will still be dealing with it.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Okay so maybe one more post

I am slowly getting mad. I have put about $60,000 into this property in two years, $22,500 in down payment. Now when I have just gotten a job and it will take a couple of months to approach a bank again for financing I am being thrown out, no refund and they want to sue me for the lease payments I fell behind on in the spring, never mind that I have used all of my savings to improve the property. I went out and got a job with a really good salary, I didn't sit back on my butt and now I am being treated like a low life. Now I have to start a job and I don't know where I'll be living in a month. Yes, that's nice, I'll be able to concentrate on a really good job that could save us right? (excuse the sarcasm but I am venting).

They will ruin my credit further, keep my down payment and leave me, my daughter, and my animals out on the street. Well, my friend has talked me into getting an attorney. I am looking at another property tomorrow but I will not sit still and have someone trash my credit, sue me, and throw me out after all I have been through without a fight.

I can tolerate loosing this property, even the money, but to ruin me so that I can't even get another place to live, forcing me to possibly have to give my animals (family) away and after all of the people I've helped with this place, all the animals I have helped, no I can't stomach it.

Guess what, it's all about money. When money is more important than someone else's life and you can feel justified ruining someones life in order for you to have more stuff.... well, it is time to really take a look at yourself. I don't want to hear another christian tell me God is going to do something. I know He will but I didn't turn people away that needed help with that advise. I know God blesses me because I bless others. That is the way it works, God makes you prosperous not to get more stuff, to go out and sow his seeds and to share what He has given you. I don't envision heaven being full of stuff and more stuff, I don't think God is going to rate your stuff. What will He be impressed with? All I can say is people better enjoy their stuff now because I am guessing they are going to be surprised when they meet the Lord, stuffless.

Here's some food for thought too, when you are dealing with a large corporation you have to fight for every dime and get the best deal you can but when you are dealing with a small business don't nickle and dime them to death. Here is a revelation, they are real people that don't have huge assets, they want to live and they should be compensated fairly. Picking apart everything and feeling justified about not having to pay a fair price hurts families of small business owners. Yes, if you beat someone down you will get more stuff but at what price? Someone else's hopes, dreams, future?

This week I went to a car dealership that I have dealt with for years. They knew me and trusted me. They pushed through financing on a car before I started my job, without a down payment, and with not so perfect credit. I have a truck that gets 12 miles per gallon, it would put me under fast commuting, God and the dealership gave me a break. Why? I can't answer the question, all I know is it happened and it will make a huge difference in surviving financially.

I guess my frame of mind at this point is that is time to open a can of whoop a_ _. I may end up on the news with this story if I am pushed far enough, they say the camera makes you look a lot bigger, I hope I don't have to go there.

 Please do pray for me and if you know someone that needs a break or help, think about what I have said. Keep in mind I am the first person to save or help an animal, people are very selfish but in helping them I help animals. You have to solve the problem of homeless pets by helping people first. Besides, anything I obtain in this life belongs to the Lord, I don't own it, I am obligated to use it to His good and benefit. I must glorify Him and be a beacon to all according to His wishes. I expect everyone reading this to think about that whether they believe in God or not, it is the way the world was supposed to be. Seriously, money and things aren't what life is about.  

Friday, June 22, 2012

My last post

With the good news of a job and finally some hope, it all comes too late. Today, I was given 30 days to leave the property. Words cannot describe my sorrow. I love animals and people and I am now in a situation where many people find themselves these days. Loosing a home and possibly losing all of my animals. It is like taking a knife and driving it into my heart.

Thank you all for visiting my blog and I've made many good friends. Better still, all of the animals I have met and learned from and helped along their journey.

I do ask that everyone will pray for us and for our animals. I am not sure I can bare loosing them, that is the only thing that really is important to myself and my daughter. The rest we can face. 

Friday, June 15, 2012

Good the bad and the everyday

Lets start out with the bad, this place will be going up for sale soon but hopefully with a new job I can still get financing and save the day, prayer and patience is needed here. If no offers come in right away there is still time.

Now for the good news, I got my background check and fingerprints done for the job (this is required when working in the banking industry) and of course it is all clear, no ax murder or fraud in my history! So, I am good to go on June 25th for the new job and I'm getting pretty excited.

I went to Gabriel Brothers and bought a nice bag to carry stuff in back and forth to work and we did the half off thing at the Salvation Army for some jeans and casual pants and a pair of shoes that are comfortable, I got a new belt too so I am ready to go.

I have a good friend at a large car dealership who is looking for an economy car for me to get into. The big yellow truck is paid for and is a great farm truck so I am keeping it but it gets like 10 miles to the gallon so I will be broke fast without a decent ride.

Josh is a young man who lives nearby who wanted a job for the summer, today was his second day. I was very pleased to see him show up the first day with work boots and gloves. He did a great job, loves the animals and is eager to learn about farming.

The stalls were done by 10:00 a.m. and I was just beside myself in the afternoon just sitting. Today we replaced light bulbs in the barn, cleaned the arena and watered it down so Sarah and Kylie could ride. They rode yesterday too so it was nice to see them having fun.

We got the usual giant round bale of hay for the pasture. Tomorrow, we are going to move more rubber gravel around the kennel building and try to eliminate weeds. Mike helped me adjust the black blade on Big Red and it is doing a better job now of scraping and moving.

Polo is doing great with my little herd, he runs out when they go out and eats with them and plays and grooms a little with all of them. My horses are so gentle and kind, it isn't easy for an older horse to be in a herd sometimes but they all move and let him in and just accept him as their own.

Mare Girl had a fit because Will was taken to a horse show and they both screamed when he got off the trailer for each other. Jackson got some love and attention too from Jill and Sarah. He is such a big teddy bear he just loves being petted and scratched.

Pony and Bit made a run for the feed when I let them out and got a bite or two before I caught them and dragged them off.

I am thankful for the weather being cooler. I hate it when it is really hot, we need some rain to keep the  dust down. I ordered sawdust so it will be here before I start my job. The goal is to have all the chores done before I get home and I can spend time with Kylie and the animals.

Kylie has taken over the kennel job and is doing great. She is also going to feed the horses in the morning so I can go straight to work. She is telling everyone she is the barn manager now. She can do anything I can and I'm proud of her. She also got her school work done and is officially in ninth grade. They grow up so fast. She drove the truck from the back paddock to the front of the house and parked it. She does pretty good driving but I am still anxious so I am not sure I am the best teacher.

I can't believe the week is almost gone, it's just amazing

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Shock and Aw

Alright, something happened today that has just overwhelmed me with joy. I have been interviewing for a few weeks to get a good job at a bank to save this place. I had an interview yesterday and a job offer this morning (same place). I just was so overwhelmed with emotion I ran around the farm like a chicken with it's tail on fire until I passed out on the couch from exhaustion.

I am still in shock and disbelief. God is so good, so very good. I hope anyone that reads my blog that has lost faith or doesn't believe He is there will somehow come to embrace Him. There aren't any big hurdles to jump or prerequisites to God's love, it is yours always even if you don't know it. What will change in your life when you press near to Him is you will feel loved and your heart will fill with love for others. Those aren't such bad things.

Thank you Lord, now on to fight the battle of financing to buy this place.  

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

People wonder why... senior horses?

The end of the farm is near because I have to get financing and am unable to. I have rolled around in my head why stay here with the house needing so much work and there are nicer farms out there. But... there is something special about this place, it is special because of the peace it brings to the animals that come here.

People looking for a social experience, fancy stuff etc. wouldn't be happy to board here. The people who have retired old horses on the other hand find peace here because their horse will find a safe place within a herd without being bullied, a stall large enough to really walk around in, sunlight coming in all day long, a window to the outside, and a window in side to see other horses. There is an arena to come in out of the weather and a paddock with soft orchard grass hay to eat. A 5 acre pasture that looks like a place a wild horse might be found, an ancient oak tree and a long tree line for shade.

Each horse knows they are loved, watched, and cared for. I know them all by name, what they like, if something is off, They all give me affection. The ones who have come here that couldn't see so well or hear so well put their trust in me to guide them so they aren't afraid.

Owners need help with their seniors and seniors need a peaceful restful place. This place is close enough to drive to for families that they can see their horses regularly and that's important. It really doesn't look like much in a cosmetic sort of way but it is a very spiritual place none the less.

Regardless how things turn out, I know this place has done a service to many animals and owners. It doesn't seem like much in the big scheme of things but it has made a dent even if a small one.

Monday, June 4, 2012

A moment to enjoy life

I took the pictures I posted today while just hanging out with Jackie and the little herd. I sometimes don't stop and really enjoy all the beauty I am surrounded by. When I look at the joy the horses have being with each other, hay, and the big pasture it brings tears to my eyes. Walking among them and moving with them is such a privilege.  

Bit loves Polo




ummm... just who's ears are hiding behind the hay? Pony!