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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Friday, August 31, 2012

Able to celebrate this weekend

I got great news today, my first test case which I submitted and it had a very high, and I emphasize high, difficulty rate passed. The loan was as difficult as a loan can be and to be honest it is one of the hardest ones I've seen in all my years of mortgages. I could have asked for another loan instead because it is not the kind of loan that should be a first test case but I figured if I passed the review I'd be able to pass them all. I did pass and I was very relieved, of course I had doubts but now I feel much more confident, it was worth it.

Finally Friday, a three day weekend to get things sorted out a little and some real sleep. I thought the week would never end but it has and on a good note.

We hung out at the barn tonight and talked, did our little chores here at home and now for a little TV and relaxation. Did I say relaxation, haven't used that word much in a long time.

Tomorrow morning I will rest but then it will be fun to mow and organize and fence. We might even visit the flea market down the road.

I just really am amazed at how life can be so terrible one day and then really good the next. I thank God for the job and the pass on the test case. Good nite all!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Beautiful evening,,,

I was tired enough to take an nap in my car today at lunch but got through the day. I took a nap when I got home too. When I got up Kylie and I let Pony and Bit out and hand grazed them. The land is beautiful and they were beautiful. We went to see Cody, Mare and Aubrey and Mare was bossing Cody and he was acting all meek and everything, love sure complicates things.

I am going to bed in a half hour, I just have to get some sleep. I can't go any longer without rest. The sunset over the trees and the moon was visible at the same time in the sky. The air is fresh and it is incredibly quiet here. 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Sawdust and Hay

This morning was rough driving because I was very sleepy, I would have been early except there was a big back up this morning on the highway. I drank a lot of coffee and made it through the day but when I got home I fell asleep on the couch for an hour.

I got up and Dave brought the rest of the sawdust and hay to the barn so we unloaded it. I took Kylie down to the round about in town where there is a Subway, there isn't much but everything is small town and laid back. It was very relaxing.

I am doing laundry now and will be going to sleep soon, this has been a long week. I will be sleeping in some this weekend.

The animals are adjusting and Kylie is getting back into the school groove. I'm happy, I still have to deal with the issue of if I have to go back to court on the old place and getting caught up on bills but we have a new life now and everything will eventually work it's self out.

I have to admit I am so used to struggling that I have a hard time excepting things are better. I still get scared when I am tired and try and worry. I guess it will take time to recover from the trauma of the past few months. Of course, a weekend here and some time to just relax may cure that. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Good stories ahead

I over slept a little today but got up and got going. I had trouble focusing today on work but made it through. The drive in and back home is not bad at all thank goodness. When I got home I adjusted all of the dog collars and they pretty much got the idea of where the boundaries are and letting them out in the morning will be much easier now.

We took the truck load of sawdust to the new barn, cleaned stalls, and visited with all the regulars. They let our horses out and Cody got really possessive of Mare Girl and struck out at me. I guess he is in love and maybe she might be going into season which would explain a lot. She hasn't pooped in her bucket so that means she is not upset about anything.

The little ones haven't been out yet because I have to build their little fence which I will do soon. I couldn't find any close but found shoes. We bought some groceries and I bought a pair of jeans. Tomorrow evening I will be able to start unpacking stuff and hopefully will stumble on clothes and socks, I hope.

The house is really nice and hanging around with trail riding people is even better. I'm not really into shows and clicks but I do enjoy folks that are into the horses themselves. Kylie had a chance to socialize with kids her own age and mess around in the stalls etc.

The time flew by this evening with all the loose ends. Mare is getting extra feed and a good fat supplement and with her teeth being done she should be gaining weight for winter. The barn uses beat pulp in the winter like I do which is great, they all have a round bale too.

I bought detergent and now can start washing things, shampoo is also nice to have and since we don't know where everything is yet I just bought some.

I'm tired but happy and I look forward to having happy stories from now on. I know things will be a little tight for awhile but eventually we will be comfortable. I have some pictures of different things I will post this weekend. That will be a start.  

Monday, August 27, 2012

FIN-The End

Friday I submitted my test case and was mentally set for the weekend. Saturday started with Dave pulling up with a big horse trailer, Cody went first and was very nervous probably because I am his mommy and was all concerned. Next came Aubrey who loaded pretty easily, then the moment that I thought would be the most stressful, loading Mare Girl. Mare watched the other two horses go and called to them. Kylie put a lead on her and Mare walked her down the driveway, Dave took the lead and she walked right on, she had to back into the stall to be secured, she did it and bumped against the back wall and it startled her but she was fine. Pony and Bit loaded last, Pony went right into his spot and Bit was tied in the middle. They all had hay and got to the new barn without incident.

Dave took the horses to the new barn, unloaded them and they were very calm. The two little ones were put into their stall at the new house. We spent Friday evening moving mats and panels and had it ready for them. I followed Dave to the barn and then dropped my brother off to get the Uhaul truck and went back to the house to start the packing up.

Brian came to help move and he and I moved all of the furniture out of the house while Trace and her friend moved the washer & dryer etc. and the mower on their trailer. My brother went back to the new house to let the cable guy in and after the truck was full we took it to the new house. We had several people pop in and out to wish us well since they saw the moving truck.

Dave came and helped us unload the truck and we went back to the old house again. We loaded up cars, Brian and Dave went home and I loaded up the four dogs in my Coralla. They had all whimpered when we took the furniture and pulled out of the driveway and they were very happy to get into the car.

They all lined up on the back seat. I looked in my mirror and saw a sea of heads bobbing. They were so happy and out of all the dogs Copper had been the most distraught, he seemed to think he was going to get dumped again.

I let them all out in the garage and then the house and they went all over sniffing except Cooper. He jumped into my arms and licked my face, he was not dumped and he did happy circles the rest of the evening.

It was late and we were too tired to get the birds so we decided to call it a day and get some rest. Sunday started out slow because we were so exhausted. We had all gotten about four hours of sleep the night before. But, we got on the road and bought the rest of the collars for the dogs, ate something and headed back to the old house. By the way it was awesome to sleep in the new house. We stopped into check the horses and Cody didn't seem to notice, Mare who had ignored him until now decided that he was security for her and the two of them stood close together, grooming and comforting each other. Aubrey stood close to them in their own little pasture and they were happy. Mare had even let Little Bit stand close to her in the trailer, of course Little Bit is as tall as a dog wouldn't just stand there but persisted in moving closer and closer and she just stepped back. The three horses are all side by side and can see each other through the boards.

Dave came with a Bobcat and loaded all of the hay and the sawdust in the barn and took it until he can drop it off at the barn the horses are at now. Greg, Kylie and I began to clean and clear the house, barn and block building. We worked and loaded the truck, we took all the bird cages out and loaded them in the truck. Around 9 pm we headed out with a loaded truck and all of the birds and bunnies.

After unpacking the truck half way and getting the birds cages in and the birds and bunnies put away we headed back to the old house for the last time. We loaded what was left, burned some of the trash and took trash out to the road. We also made a pile of things someone else can use.

We loaded the cats and by the time we were done it was 2 am. We pulled out of the driveway for the last time. Kylie was very emotional because she was so tired. I didn't look back. The darkness that shadowed over us the last six months was finally lifted. A new life without strife.

I went to bed at 4 am and got up at 6, fed the little horses, the bird and let the dogs out. I went to work and drank four cups of coffee, came home and spliced wire and finished the dog fence. I took Kylie to get something to eat and we stopped and saw the horses, they are very happy. We came back to the new house and unloaded the truck and dropped it off. We are all slap happy from exhaustion but I am so happy and at peace. The garage is a disaster with all of our stuff but that will all be righted soon.

The birds were troopers and took the move well. All of the animals just didn't want to be left behind. I am so tired but so happy to have gotten this house and to put behind me all of the good and bad things of the past two  years.

No more counting days, we have made it through and all the work was worth it. Today Micah discovered the ducks next door and found a possum in the fir tree.

Here's to the blog post ahead, a new chapter and a better life. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Peace about things

Today I continued to work diligently on a very complicated file, I will finish it up tomorrow and submit it for review because it is a test case. After work I packed the car up to take stuff to the new house and stopped in to talk to the barn owner where we are moving our horses Saturday. They will have their own little pasture and I can bring round bales there and everything is a co-op which means we will still be doing barn stuff.

Kylie met about 4 girls her age all doing chores and she was thrilled. Mare is doing great with my two horses and we will be working on getting more weight on her for winter.

I am now settled in my mind about this move completely. We have a much nicer home, less work to do, a place for our horses within walking distance where they will be safe and still will be able to enjoy some of the chores we have always done. Plus the barn is a trail riding barn which means maybe someday I will be able to trail ride again.

Overtime is available even for me now so once the move happens I can start working some extra hours which will insure that we will be able to be living more comfortably going forward.

Mare will be settled and gray kitty will be at home with us too so that raps up all the loose ends.

God is so good to have planned everything out so well. What was meant to harm us has turned out to be such great blessings. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Exhaustion and Panic attacks

Last night I couldn't fall asleep because my anxiety was so high, I couldn't stop thinking in detail of all the things I have to accomplish before the weekend. Today I came home with the same level of high anxiety. I traveled for two weeks and worked on selling things, all the packing, and everything associated with moving and haven't stopped, I know that is why I feel so burned out. 

I am going to try and sleep tonight and for the rest of the week I will be working very hard and very late to get everything done. 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Day 30 a good routine

This morning was the first in a very long time that as I was getting ready for work I was relaxed, happy. I thought about leaving for work at the new place, walking out of the house into the attached garage, a brick walkway, a nice driveway. I thought to myself none of these things mattered to me, I would not have looked for them. But, here they are and my shoes will be much cleaner for work. Something so silly to think about but I can't help it. I know myself well enough to know that I will miss the grit of living the way I have for a few years now.

Our old house had few luxuries but it was ours and a good place to raise Kylie and have the animals. I learned about land and pasture there and here I learned about caring for animals, for their bodies and their souls.

Today my coworkers/friends greeted me as soon as I got in the door, they were very excited to see me and stopped by all day to help me and see how I was doing. We all talk and share experiences, both life and work stories. Because the amount of analysis and detail we must all use in reviewing loans and decisioning them we must sometimes put our heads together and use each others knowledge and experience.

I was hired as a senior underwriter and that means that I will see many loans that are too complicated or have more risk than the average loan file. I will be able to approve loans that others cannot. It is a great job in the sense that when possible I can make a difference in someones life. Getting a home loan when things haven't been perfect or families are just coming out of bad times can give them hope. Of course I must measure risk and be certain the borrowers are in a position to repay without putting them in a worse situation. A good underwriter looks for clues and the whys not just the numbers.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Day 29, not enough time in the day

This morning Jim did not make it out for the fence and the folks that were supposed to get the hay and sawdust lost their horse last night to colic so they will come later in the week. My brother jumped in and did laundry and helped to clean out the basement. Josh and Kylie took things I want to sell out to the road, I steam cleaned some chairs and we took a truck load over to the new house.

I stopped at Home Depot and rented a machine and laid down the in ground fence wire for the dogs. All that is left is to connect the wires and buy three more collars and the dogs are good to go. I got home around 6:00 and rested for a little while and then took Cooper down and gave him a bath and brushed and dried him. I cut all lot of his feathers off and cleaned him up. The dogs are a month ahead of schedule on shedding, they are loosing their coats dramatically so nature is in a hurry. I will groom each dog before Saturday so that they go to the new house in good shape.

Mare is doing well with her new herd and the gray feral cat in the barn allowed Kylie to pick her up and pet her tonight. I am relieved because I know now we will be able to take her with us without the trauma of trapping her.

Daniel is having anxiety attacks because of all the moving activity and I am trying to calm him but he probably won't settle down until after the move.

I'm tired but there is so much more to do. It doesn't look like we will have more than a couple of people to help move Saturday so I will have to work on that.

My brother got stopped by the neighbor and it turns out the owner of this place called the neighbor to ask what was going on here and to tell him he took us to court and probably a lot more negative things. The neighbors all know how much work and money I have put into this place so I am taking it with a grain of salt.

I am over this place and battling and I am not going down the petty road and slinging things back and forth. I think the owner thinks I am going to steal stuff or destroy things or whatever which is sad because I wouldn't do that.

I am very happy now though going to the new place and experiencing peace and knowing with a good job and a new home that we will be okay. My bills are getting paid off on schedule and although it will still take a few months to get things behind us as far as finances it will happen without having to go to bed at night with a crushing weight on my shoulders.

I do hope this place sells so that someone can put life into it and positive things and the negative things that have taken place here in the past will be forever forgotten. I also hope the owners find peace and are able to get their money and go on with their lives. I am not responsible for their success or happiness, only they can choose to move on and get past the feuding and blame now.

I have met so many people that I work with and while traveling that have lost their homes and survived devastation and had to rebuild their lives. I am not alone but am very blessed as many people have said, it all turned out for the best. 

Day 28 putting everything into motion

This move will be like domino's, all lined up and when it starts in motion everything will have to fall into place. Today hay will begin to move, horse mats and gates will move, hopefully dog fencing will be installed. This week car and truck loads and packing. Saturday morning all the horses will be hauled out and delivered, the moving truck will be picked up and people who will help will be here to load the furniture etc.

I will work all week until 5:00 and then come home and make a trip to the new place. In the meantime, horse fencing will be started by a friend who does fences for a living. The water tubs will have to be moved as well as the buckets and feeders, the picks and tack.

Things will go to the curb and trash will be put out and the burn pile stacked with things that are burnable. Dogs will be moved sometime Saturday, bunnies Friday evening, and parrots Saturday all so.

I hope and pray that Sunday will be in our new home with our animals all around and then we can begin to settle in.

It all sounds chaotic but I can remember a month ago when my world was crashing and I had no place to take any of the animals or even ourselves. I am so grateful for God's blessings and I know he is driving all of this and every domino will fall as it should till the course is run.

I am thinking Big Red has been gone over with a fine tooth comb, neighbors or the new owner have checked her out, and she has been tested and played with. Her clutch and small leaks will be worked on soon and she will be pulling logs and making me proud.

Mare went out with Aubrey and Cody yesterday and was a little perplexed at being out with the other herd but settled in as they are horses and she needs a herd. All went well and they will begin to bond as now they will be their own herd, the little ones will be their little herd on the new place, causing trouble and grief as they always do when they try and run around being stinkers. They will have a virgin pasture and a round bale all their own. I think they will be content.

The blacksmith has been called to do their hooves and the two big ones I hope to vaccinate when Mare has her teeth done tomorrow. I will catch up on dog vet checks during the fall as they have all had shots but I am not sure who and when.

The cats will be caught Thursday and Friday and transported to crates at the new place so they can start getting used to a new place. Emmie will be disjointed for awhile because she will not have a big barn to manage but a nice heated garage for winter. She is getting older and the winters are hard on her so I think she'll like the trade off.

Nana will have a beautiful sunroom filled with windows and is secure, she will not be happy that there is sliding glass doors to shut when we are in the house and her voice and protests won't be as effective.  But, her view is wonderful and the windows open for fresh air and she will be very happy. Actually, so will we, we can shut the glass sliding doors and have a sound barrier once and awhile.

Kylie's school starts next Monday so the cable folks will be at the new house Saturday afternoon, a person will have to be there to let them in. Just more domino's. She will need the internet to do her classes so it is really important that goes as planned.

The dogs will have to be bathed and trimmed this week as well, they will from now on have to be perfect little groomed gentlemen to keep the new house clean as their is carpet and lots of it and vacuuming will be more necessary. Cooper is still full of burrs so he will be the first tonight to get cleaned up.

Onward and upward is my motto for this week.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Day 27, Tractor rehomed

I sold Big Red this morning to a nice young man from New York state. He appreciated what he was getting and drove all morning to get here early with a trailer. I will miss my tractor but now the dogs and horses will be taken care of and we will have a cushion. Some day another Belarus... some day. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Day 26 Home

I am home for good now, no more traveling. The grass needs cut, the house is a total disaster but I am back with my critters and that makes life very good. Tomorrow, I am hoping will be very busy and productive.

It is so very good... to be home. 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Day 23,24,25 not much longer

I am finally done with training as of today and I fly home tomorrow. Thank goodness! Mare Girl's owner's daughter called me finally last night and they are okay with the move and she is getting her teeth done Monday. Alice, Mare's owner had a stroke and is recuperating but the daughter is going to make sure that Mare is taken care of.

Mike's horses left yesterday and depending on if I sell the tractor, I may just move Cody, Aubrey, and Mare to one barn for a month. The two little ones will come home with me at the new place.

I will be excited to go into work on Monday and start my test cases so I can get my lending authority and then it will be overtime and money to take care of us.

My brother and Kylie are getting on each other's nerves so the sooner I get home the better. I have so much to do and a little over a week to do it but I am really excited.

I am trying to transfer the water over to our names and the little dinky water company is making it so difficult with their red tape that I would have gotten a home loan by now. I am really irritated and will call them tomorrow in the a.m. and find out what their problem is.

I am actually going to sleep in tomorrow which doesn't happen at all because living on a farm doesn't permit it. After we get settled I might actually go to a salon and get my haircut by a professional, the earth will tremble I am sure.

I am hoping that the people who said they were going to check out the tractor on Saturday actually show up. It will make a huge difference in getting things in place for us. I'm exhausted and it would be nice to actually be able to buy and have some things installed instead of struggling with it myself.

I am becoming travel savvy now and figured out where to order food from and I fixed the hotel printer too. I got a routine here now, I probably won't fly for another 15 years but oh well I got the hang of it now.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Day 22, Airports

This is the last week of travel for me and today everything was on schedule. I got a lot of calls on the tractor so I am setting up appointments all day. I have come to terms with selling it and I know it will be better for all the animals because I can set them up comfortably. There will be another tractor in my future only smaller and a Belarus if I find one.

I left a long list of things for my brother and Kylie to accomplish while I'm gone to position us into the move. When I get back into town I will start a big push to get everything done. I'm excited. I'm ready to move on.

I am much more comfortable with myself and having a new life. Kylie and the animals are my life and so knowing that they will all be okay is all I need.

I will be tired for awhile but I know that by mid September everything will be in a routine and settled as far as unpacking and situating everything.

The dogs again this morning looked mournful when the suitcase came out and got packed. Poor things, they get so upset but I told them this all for them, got to buy kibble and that takes money.

I am grateful for the cooler temperatures, Philadelphia has been hot and miserable during the week. Moving is miserable when it's 90 out. I'm glad to see the grass greener too and hope for a late hay harvest to ease the burden of having a shortage.

Hopefully Friday will come fast and the flight home will be on time. I'll be done with traveling and be able to have a regular work schedule. By the time I finish my test cases and start overtime the move will be over and we will be living a new life. Thank you all for your good thoughts, prayers, and thank you Lord for delivering myself and my family. 

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Winding down

I ran out of energy today and had a very long nap, I felt guilty with so much to do but I have to admit I feel much better. I have to travel again next week but my brother is here for the week and will try to get things done while I am gone.

I tied up some loose ends this evening with paper work and will be ready to travel tomorrow. I'll be able to do phone/paperwork from the hotel and try to keep on stuff.

The move is two weeks away so it will be interesting how every things shakes out. I will be in a coma by then I am thinking.

The dogs have accepted that things are being moved and Nana has settled down again. Kylie is excited but procrastinating getting her stuff together. She starts school the Monday after the move. I am excited for her to be able to settle in and really have time to put into school. She is home schooled and the entire thing is online for her.

I took the big yellow truck over to the new place and pulled her into the garage. There is a place to park her in there from now on, such luxury, however will we cope. I am typing right now and just realized one of the dogs has a bad case of gas, hopefully I will be able to finish this without passing out!

The grass is greening up finally after getting some decent rain. It was much cooler today which is a blessing because the truck doesn't have AC. Kylie and I walked the new land where we are moving and there are a couple of ponds next door, huge fields behind us as far as you can see that are growing crops. It's awesome, there are train tracks at the end of our property and a train came through, it will be interesting how the dogs and horse react at first. They will get used to it and the trains only run about two or three times in a 24 hour time span. I was raised near train tracks so at night it will be the sound of an old friend to me.

Wood for winter solved

I posted an ad on Craigslist for someone to come and cut up downed trees here and we'd split the amount of wood taken out. There is many down trees and limbs in the tree line of the pasture all of which should be cleaned up by someone.

I got a call today from someone who doesn't live far from the new house who actually drives by it every day and burns wood all winter much like we will be doing. So next weekend he will cut the wood and I will use the tractor to clean up around the trees and we will split the wood he cuts.

So, we should be ahead come winter with some wood to burn. He may even bring it right to the house since he drives past it anyway.

God is good, one more thing... a buyer for the tractor and things will be in place to start our new life. 

Day 21 News Flash

Mare Girl will be situated almost within walking distance of the new house for as long as we need till the other little barn is ready. One more huge thing off my shoulders. Now, just selling the tractor would be nice. 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Exhausted but still going

Showed the tractor twice today which is good. The first buyer wanted to trade a tractor which is half the size and very little cash so that is a no. The second likes the tractor but is going to do some research and get back to me.

I sold the wardrobe, got the washer hauled away, and the kitchen island goes tomorrow. Plenty left to sell and it will be so nice not to have to drag everything with me. We hit the Salvation Army with about 5 bags and we aren't done yet. I have found that I have acquired many things that can be sold or now used in the new house that matches the interior and will enhance the rooms. I just haven't had time or space to really put things in order here.

I'm really tired still from traveling and the rest of the things today. I did run Big Red and moved dirt and cleaned things up a bit. That was fun for me and I am enjoying just playing a little before I move her or sell her.

Going to a stables tomorrow for Mare Girl, still can't reach her owner and her friends have basically walked away so it's up to me entirely. Mike's horses leave Wednesday and I know she'll be upset because that is her herd. We'll just have to do the best we can until I can move her to her new forever barn. I been praying for the path to be laid for her and that it will all work out with no snags. I really have a huge amount of things to accomplish in a very small amount of time.

I am hoping everyone who is going to help move will be here when we need them. I have a gray cat that is feral and stays in the barn. It will take a tremendous effort to catch her and take her with us. She may end up at the little barn with Mare, we'll see.

Day 20, now your talking

Today I sold the wardrobe, the washer is being picked up and I might have a lead on firewood. The jury is still out on the tractor, the guy loves it but I can't just give it away so we'll see.

I have discovered some more things that we don't need to take with us that will be useful to others and it would be nice to get a little more cash together. All the money will be spent on the animals new quarters, need fence for dogs and some fencing for the two little horses and some cash for situating Cody and Aubrey.

I just keep on plugging away with getting things sold, moved, and given away. Hopefully, the good Lord will help pull this all together as it is a big task.

I am going to look at the smaller Big Red tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. Of course once he laid eyes on Big Red's beauty and drove her, I could see total infatuation.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Day 18 and 19, airport hell

Yesterday I went to training for half a day and spent the rest of the day and part of the night in airports. I can only say how happy I was to come home and get tackled by Kylie and the dogs. Even Nana awoke from her very important parrot beauty sleep to great me and was just shivering with excitement and all feathers flared.

The house is a terrible mess between my daughter and brother. I started packing and cleaning but there is a long way to go. Somehow it will all come together but what I can sell or donate or throw away will be out of here as soon as I can physically do it.

Thank God for the rain and cooler temperatures, it gave me a chance to run Big Red and clear some stuff in the back, the horses have eaten the pasture down but they are not burning up at least. Better weather for labor and moving as well.

The dogs and birds are very tense as they see major change coming. They are calmer when I am watching TV or resting as it seems more normal to them than boxes flying everywhere and trash bags. I gave them all a good brushing today and they are all blowing their coats. They will all be bathed and high velocity dried in order to get the shedding down to a reasonable amount for the new house. Since the place has a three car heated garage I am setting up my table and driers in there for keeping them clean and tip top.

I walked the land today on the new place trying to plan fencing. If there is one thing I hate it is putting up fencing. The actual stringing is easy it's the marking off and running fence charges and hooking them up I hate.

We'll start small, the first thing is to get an in ground fence in for the dogs. They have plenty of room but the neighbors have ducks and that will be interesting till they get the idea that ducks are no and leave them alone.

I have to say that my excitement is building and I look forward to stepping off this place for the last time and sleep in the new place and just take a deep breath and relax.

Someone is coming tomorrow to take a look at Big Red, I was against selling my favorite thing in all the world but we don't need such a big tractor. As it turns out this guy has a smaller version of Big Red and he needs a bigger tractor, the tractor he has is a big Russian Belarus too just smaller than ours. It has been redone and it would fit into the garage. So, a little money, a tractor swap and it might be better in the long run. Big Red would get the care and fix up she needs to keep going for a long time. I think this could be another God thing as it makes the situation better for me and I won't miss Big Red as much.

Tomorrow should be an interesting day so we'll see.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Day 17, calmer seas

Kylie had a better day today and perhaps our prayers have been answered once again. Someone stopped by to ask about buying the farm and that is good news for the farm and for the owners. I think that moving towards closer for them on the farm will help begin the healing process.

I was thinking this evening if I could stay or go to the new house I would still choose to go to the new house. A very happy family lived in the new home and it is a place that feels good and safe. The farm has had years of drama even before we came into the picture and I want a peaceful life.

Driving to the airport earlier this week gave me some flashbacks from the past. I flew out of Canton and I hadn't traveled that part of 77 in a long time. I remember driving to WV to go to my grandfather Hayward's farm, I remember driving my mom to WV, and I remember driving in that direction when we went to get my precious dog Courage and took him home with us. It seems like it was all a hundred years but just as fresh as yesterday.

I thought about Cody today for the better part of the day. It has been many years since I lived somewhere without him. I want to spend some special time with him when I get back, it will be a couple of months before I can move him close to our house and a while before I can put up a small barn. I got Cody when he was two, just a little more than a baby. We have been together a long time.

It will not be long before everything will change for all of us. I will have to say goodbye to Will and Jackson, Mare will be somewhere till her stall is ready on a farm not from us. Cody and Aubrey will go to Dave's for a month and then be moved closer.

The dogs and Nana will be anxious during the move but will be fine as long as Kylie and I are there with them.

I wait to rest, to lay my head down in a new place where there is no fear or threats. Where my daughter and animals are around me on a very quiet road in the country. I will not rest until that first night and I an feeling anticipation to end the months of uncertainty and loss.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

day 16 persecution

Yesterday I had a long flight and layover, my brother is staying with Kylie. I was wiped out last night so no post. This morning I felt pretty good just tired. In between class I did a lot of phone calling, things are starting to sell and I had to talk to Lloyd.

In the midst of trying to do what I need to keep this wonderful job, move, and balance everything including Mare Girl, the owners of the farm are again serving papers. Kylie ended up signing again and she is a minor. There is no law that says they can't serve a minor but it has really traumatized her now for the second time. The original papers where missing signatures which my attorney brought to the courts attention and they had to be refiled, there attorney won't return my attorney's messages so they don't even know we are moving. This is all about persecuting. Losing all of my retirement and the months of hell, plus improving their property isn't enough basically.

Lloyd took it with a grain of salt because he is used to such things, I tried calming Kylie down from where I am now. I told her not to let them steal her peace, basically that is what this is all about, to strike out and hurt someone. No matter the outcome, although it may make it more difficult for us, we have a new life and we have been greatly blessed, they can't change that so I feel that I won't allow them to inflict anything else on us, it will all be deflected.

I would really appreciate folks including myself to pray for the owners. I think they are so bitter and embattled with their circumstances and feel I am to blame for not financing the property that they want to strike out at us. Really, in the end it doesn't make anything better so I pray for them to find peace and somehow get through having to sell the farm and go on with their lives, maybe accept that the price of the farm may not bale them out of their circumstances. Of course God can make things right for them just not in a way they would expect. The bible says to pray for people, especially when they are spiteful. Lets see if the good Lord will take the ugliness out of this and turn it into something good for them as well. 

Monday, August 6, 2012

Day 14 and 15 Saving Carol

Yesterday I was too tired and too overwhelmed to write about anything on the blog. I moved things to the new house and met with the family that will eventually be boarding Cody and Aubrey. They are moving 5 minutes away from the new house and have a barn and land for a pasture. They will be taking Mare Girl too once they build another stall on the barn which will happen by October. She will have a permanent home there with a small herd. I will have to make arrangements for two months for her somewhere which I know will be hard on her but in the end she will be situated for life and I will always be around to see that she is cared for and loved.

Money has been pouring out in all directions with turning on utilities, bills, everything here. I am just panicking over money. Once we move and I get done with training I will be in good shape with overtime and we will be able to recover and live within our means. Right now though I could just pass out with anxiety. I prayed last night to God that he would help because although He has blessed us with a wonderful new beginning I can't accomplish the financial part alone, I just can't and have a fresh start.

This morning I got a phone call before 8:00 and it was my good friend Marge who liquidates estates and auctions everything. I told her I'd be traveling again for work and had a great deal to sell that we weren't taken with us and I was overwhelmed. Marge is going to come over and start posting things for me and will meet with the buyers. Marge can sell anything and she so wants to help us. A burden has been lifted off of my shoulders, with the barn, working, moving and everything else there wasn't enough time or energy for me to do this. God has heard my prayer and answered. I am not alone in this and He is helping to take somethings off my shoulders. Thank you, Lord. 

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Very important thoughts

Three weeks ago I feared the worst, I would loose all of my animals. As I lay in bed at night I cried holding Cooper my Sheltie feeling I'd really let him down because I found him at the shelter and he had been in two other homes already.

Today I sat down on the couch and of course Cooper was next to me. I pet him gently and realized that he would be in a new home soon but with me. I wasn't going to loose him or my other animals, my family of animals. I realized that Kylie wouldn't have to give up Micah and Nana wouldn't have to go back to a rescue.

I still want to cry but for joy and love. I thank God for His goodness and mercy. I am truly moved today by all that has happened since Saturday when we found a new home. A miracle, yes it is for to move with all of these animals, to find a place so nice and without maintenance what can I say. I've worked so hard for years on houses, land and just to make it decent to live on.

So many things people take for granted, I grew up poor, I have had really high moments in my life and even times when my life has hung by a thread. The new place we are moving humbles me, all the convenience that most people have today we have never had or asked for simply because our priorities weren't about comfort but more necessity.

I have lived a very rich life full of sadness sometimes and unspeakable beauty at other times, most of the beautiful times were when things were simple and meaningful, the peaceful moments that only nature and God can give.

There is nothing on this earth that I would trade for God's love, Kylie, or the animals that have become a part of my life. With that said, I've been given hope and a new beginning. I've been given more than I would have asked for and most of all God has saved me, He loves me and that at times is hard for me to accept. These past few weeks I've felt that love so deeply that nothing can match it. That in the end was what I needed the most. 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Day 14, making progress

We took a car load of things to the new house and put things on craigslist we don't plan on taking. I will be donating things to Good Will and Salvation Army as well. I am going to a stable tomorrow to check out things to see if we can find a place for Mare. She really is my last thing to work out. I spoke with the couple that used to check in on her and they aren't really interested in helping out.

Mare needs her teeth done really bad before winter, I just hope somehow I can put things together for her. She isn't my horse but that is they way I am. I hope now that the good Lord has helped us that folks will pray about Mare to have a nice place and peace. I'll do what I can but help would be nice right now. 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Day 13, thank goodness it's Friday

I am so exhausted, I decided to lay low tonight and not go anywhere. I plan on getting tons of stuff done over the weekend and start moving in earnest. Tonight, I will rest and try and get some sleep. There is just way too much stuff bouncing around in my head and I can't keep up with it.

It is totally hot again and so dry. This summer has been one of the worst I can remember, the drama here, and the weather. It's tough on people and animals when it's so hot and dry. I am looking forward to fall that's for sure.

Tomorrow is supposed to be hot and then a cool down. Lets hope that it does cool down. 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Day 12 it is starting to feel real

Enjoyed work today, it's such a nice place. I came home and took a nap because I was so tired. We packed up some of the pictures hanging on our walls and some wood we have to burn during winter months and took it to the new place.

We walked around in the house and it's about 2,000 sq. ft., which is huge compared to this house. It just felt great and weird all at the same time. I feel so overwhelmed with the thought of moving, work, training trips, and preparing for the animals. I'm not complaining as God has blessed us more than I could imagine it's just a lot right now for me to handle. I pray it will all come together and go smoothly before I pass out LOL

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The land

Garage, a little much

Nana's new crib

Pony and Bits new diggs

Day 12 Keys

Today I worked hard and also made phone calls to utility companies and different things to coordinate a move. I picked up the keys tonight and strangely I am happy and love the place but am not dancing on the roof top. I suppose once I start moving things and go there and sit for awhile it will sink in.

We looked at the out building that is on the property and it's cute and will certainly be enough for bit and pony, maybe with some work it could house all four temporarily, we'll see.

Kylie wanted to go to the fair but I am just too tired with working and trying to work out the details for the move. I have several things I want to list on craigslist so that we will have some cushion money to take with us. I figure if we don't use it we are not taking it.

Kylie and Uncle Greg are so excited about the house that it's really unbelievable to see them both so happy. They are leaving a small above ground pool for us and my brother is trying on swimming trunks.

The room that has everybody the most excited right now is the kitchen, here it is.