Journaling

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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Release from bondage

As Joseph was imprisoned and then found favor with Pharaoh and the Hebrews fled slavery in Egypt things have come full circle. Today I was blessed with a significant raise in my salary. I took a lower salary because I had been out of mortgages for awhile and out of underwriting, my employer gave me a chance to prove myself. I've been a single parent for 15 years now and I can't remember the last time I got paid that I didn't worry about how I was going to make it until the next paycheck, that is until now.

The bondage of debt and financial stress is as real as any shackles or chains, it is a huge burden to carry every day of your life. I am not rich but I will be okay now. Bills will be paid and I will have the money to buy Kylie somethings sorely needed like new boots. Better still, I will have money leftover, I will be able to do somethings that I haven't been able to for most of my life.

Last night I was very sad because I missed the barn at night when I would feed the horses their night time hay. I loved the peacefulness of the barn in dim light and the sound of horses eating. I grieved and I felt ashamed for not being grateful for all the many blessings I have now.

I reminded myself I was able to survive and not loose the animals and that is what is important. The Lord new I need to have a place and things situated where I would be free of some of the labor I have had in the past, although I'd rather be outside working and a farm will always be my true love. While I am working now I can't do both, there will come a day when a small barn will be built or a small farm will be purchased for myself and my animals. Until then things are best now and it is important to be thankful for every moment of life and not waste it.

My employer is going to give me another opportunity in the months to come to test for underwriting other loan types and once I achieve that goal my income will increase again. God is good and merciful. It has been a long time in the desert but now it is time for abundance and grace.

I still miss Mare Girl terribly and I will for awhile I suppose but with sorrow there is also joy as I had today. 

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