Journaling

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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Thursday, September 20, 2012

The aftermath

Last night was long and hard, Mare started hemorrhaging from the back end and blood was gushing from her nose and mouth, after she was put down her belly was swollen so it was very traumatic for everyone. I am glad it did not happen at night when she would have been alone. We were there to sooth her and make a very fast decision and I signed the vets authorization. I left a message with the owner's daughter to call me immediately last night and I haven't heard from her yet. Mare was taken this morning and Cody has stopped yelling for her. It was a hard drive in to work today and I wept but I know it was the right thing for Mare but I will miss her for a long time. We took some strands of her tail which is the custom to braid. I know Mare was a beauty and very spirited in her youth, what a handful she must be now.

Our horses are moving to a 15 acres farm this weekend with green pastures and a nice small barn much like our old one with concrete block walls. I am sorry that Mare won't taste those pastures but she'll have better ones now. The barn we are at now is moving and the manager and regulars are so nice. It is a trail and endurance group and it is like home to us. Again, God is so good. The barn manager stood by and was strong for me last night as was Kylie, I have been so emotionally strung out for so long it was good to have the support.

Today my last test case passed, I will get my authority letter tomorrow. I have a file sitting on my desk that has some tough credit issues caused by loss of income and illness, the customer owns a farm and has worked two jobs to keep it and has helped rescue animals, much like what we did at times. The loan cannot be approved without an exception and now that I have my authority I can recommend it for approval with an exception. The customer is buying something with a lower payment and will be able to pay off bills with selling their current home, they will get a break I hope. My job is very demanding mentally, but it is a challenge and complicated at times but when I can do something good for a family it is an extra bonus for me. I can't always approve a loan for someone because it would be wrong to set them up to fail if they aren't ready but sometimes I can build a case to make a difference if it is the right thing to do.

A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders today with passing all 7 cases, some of my coworkers who were hired at the same time didn't. I am very fortunate. Now I have finished the training, the testing, and have achieved my goal. I have my number from FHA that authorizes to approve loans on their behalf. I can now go about getting the financial situation remedied from the many months of falling behind.

It was a bitter sweet day today, this evening we stripped Mare's stall and cleaned the up the blood etc. I wanted to bring flowers for her stall but was too exhausted to stop anywhere. God bless her sweet heart, I loved her so. 

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