Journaling

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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Farm chores, fatigue, and fathers

I was totally wiped out on Friday but got up on Saturday and went to work. When I got home I mowed the grass in the front which is a lot and stopped by the barn to see the horses and sit out on the gazebo by the pond. When I got home I wasn't motivated to much but did go to bed early.

Today I slept till 11 which kind of made me mad because I didn't want to waste so much of the day but I was exhausted. I went to the bird fair in Medina and got some big wooden toys for Nana, something she hasn't had for awhile, I also got her a doll with soft ropes hanging like a skirt that she could snuggle with at night. We put her out in the sunroom on a perch and she was just so happy that Uncle Gregg and I decided to finally move her big bird cage in there. The cage is about 300 lbs. and we had to take it apart to get it through the doors and into the sun room. It was worth it, she is so content and she chewed her new wood and watch the sunset.

I went and filled 30 trash bags full of sawdust from the old barn for Thea's new place. Some of it is from I brought with me from the old barn and some was hers. She moved her house into the new place this weekend and needed all the help she could get, like us when it came to moving there weren't a lot of people to come to the rescue but those that did worked hard. So Thea has a nice barn and a little arena and 15 acres and she now lives in the house there too. It is perfect for her horses and trail and endurance lessons. We get to share in the beauty as our horses are there and it's a beautiful place for horses.

I count Thea as a good friend because I was at work Saturday and in the middle of her having to move her own things she picked up Kylie and went and got two round bales, one for her farm and dropped the other one off here at the house for the two little horses. She didn't have to do that, it saved me a lot of worry. I appreciated it so much because it is something I would have done for my boarders but I don't really think they appreciated the time and trouble I went through to make it better for their horses. I would never treat someone who cares about my animals as much as I do like that, I wouldn't want to take advantage of someone either. It means a great deal to me to know my horses are happy and are outside living the life they should while I am away working so much, in fact, it is the only way I would have peace of mind about it.

I am not one to trust someone with my horses but I trust Thea, she goes and gets the best hay she can get for all the horses, she feeds beet pulp even thought it is more trouble, she makes sure all the horses are out as much as possible. It's not easy for her as it wasn't for me, you sacrifice a lot to spend the money to make sure the horses are taken care of right, barn owners have more heart than money. People just don't understand, nor appreciate the cost of caring.

I still am not over Mare Girl yet, I miss her and I miss Emmie who left shortly after we moved. There are many farms around here and I hope Emmie found one. She was my good little friend, I love her and miss her.

Things I didn't accomplish today are laundry, putting away things, and vacuuming. I did get part of the backyard mowed this evening. I guess I will get it all done eventually. Tomorrow I'll have to catch up on stall cleaning after work. At least I like coming to work and the hours fly by until it's time to go home. I have a couple of good friends at work too and we joke around and have fun while we are working so hard on loans.

The dogs are super happy, I can actually feed them the way they should be fed. The birds all got a new toy and they are happy, I got some much needed sleep and tomorrow it starts all over again.

Kylie is not so happy, she misses her dad. They really don't understand each other very well and to some degree Dave has replaced Kylie with a sort of adopted daughter. The other girl goes with Dave to shows and likes to show and he buys her things he would never buy for Kylie. It hurts Kylie very deeply and there isn't anything I can do to make it better.

I told Kylie today it is time maybe she should go and spend sometime with her dad for her sake. I am not sure if the relationship will ever be what she would like simply because Dave is the way he is and seems to have a warped idea of what a parent relationship is especially when he expects Kylie to be there for him instead of the other way around.

Sad really, Kylie is self driven in school, she is great with the barn and horses. She's pretty and mature and a very good person and she has common sense. Kylie can do or be anything she wants and she has a strong character. Dave will never see all that she is or appreciate it really for his values and priorities are different. Daughters should always be a daddy's little girl but that has never been for Kylie. I am sad for her but I know God is a good father and He will always be there for her.


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