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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Melancholy, homesick

Yes, I sometimes feel homesick for my grandfather's farm, for the mountains back home. I had two grandfathers, the first (grandpa Phillips) was my closest friend and who I owe my life to, the second (Hayward) I owe my love of farms and horses.

Grandpa Phillips taught me that my name and my word were the most important things and whenever I did anything to do it with all my might because it was what I stood for, in other words, never do anything that I wouldn't be proud to put my name on. He taught me about the Lord and Jesus and to never be afraid and about unconditional love.

Hayward was worldly and a bit of a rascal but he was intelligent, generous, charming and a wonderful farmer. Hayward taught me how nature works and about the cycles of life and to appreciate the land.

I miss them both and the times I spent with them, they were so different from each other. I often wonder what they would think of me now with the farm and all the things I do. I was a shy child and although I visited the farm, chose to live a city life for many years. Both grandfathers grew up in a time where women didn't farm alone, in fact, I'm very sure they would both be surprised that it is me that the whole farm life stuck with.

I would dearly love to share my life with them now, they both had great senses of humor, we would have a wonderful time. I wish Kylie would have met them both. I took Kylie to see Hayward before he died but she was too little to remember.

My mom canned every summer the whole summer and we had a garden. All of mom's brothers played an instrument by ear and I can remember laying in bed late at night as a child and listening to them play old time gospel all night. That was a long time ago and they are all gone now. I sometimes listen to an old hymn and it brings me closer to them all.

I am melancholy but my spirit is renewed because all that I am now and do has been weaved in and out of those memories and I'm walking in their footsteps. Grandfather Phillips would tell me I know, to stay on the straight and narrow path until I finally reach my destination, my home up yonder.


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