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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The joys of my life

I sat under the stars tonight and they were exceptionally bright, the moon is almost full. I had time to contemplate happiness and I thought of my childhood and some things I remember that stood out. I was raised by my adopted mother and grandfather, we were very, very poor. I can remember one Christmas when I was sick with rheumatic fever and the community collected used toys to give us for Christmas. The one thing that brought me joy was a bunch of little links that snapped together and you could build things. I played with them for hours. I had a couple of dolls growing up and some toy horses and that was really it. I spent many afternoons building and pretending with what I had.

I remember as a child sitting under two big trees and watching nature around me and sitting by the Ohio River bank in a little meadow under trees just listening to the water wash up on the shores. The sun would set across the river and the water would sparkle.

Most of the time I was alone as a child, the really best moments I can remember as a child was visiting the mountains with my adopted elderly grandfather and visiting my Grandfather Hayward's farm. I loved that farm and that old house. I didn't get to see it often but I loved it like it was a living thing.

As an adult the happiest times I have known is when I found Cody my horse and when we used to ride trails every night for hours, just me and Cody. When Kylie my daughter was born, I can think of nothing more wonderful than holding her as a newborn and watching her sleep. It's hard to describe but being unofficially adopted and not really accepted by my biological family or my adopted family, Kylie is the first person who was truly mine and I hers like families are supposed to be.

Other moments of happiness included buying my first house with land, I had never lived in a house before and when I brought Courage home, my dog. Finally, when we got this place and land of course. Working years in a bank behind a desk and finally now working on the land, caring for a herd of horses, my beautiful dogs, Nana the parrot and helping bring joy to people and animals.

I had a really good career at the bank in the beginning, I helped a lot of low income families buy homes and move into neighborhoods and schools that would help them have a better life. I approved or obtained approval for hundreds of loans. There were loans I fought to get approved through private mortgage insurance underwriters and even the mortgage VP's at the bank. For awhile I worked in compliance and reviewed loans for fair lending. Once again, to help low income families.

Yesterday wasn't the greatest day but there was joy in it. My daughter who is 14 now is amazing. Kylie was there for me yesterday, she wanted to let me know she was there for me. Today, she showed a great deal of courage, all for me so I would be okay. How blessed I have been and more so now.

I hope that when people feel down and there seems to be no hope that they can remember the small things, the precious moments with loved ones and the simple pleasures in life. Life is a bundle of moments tied together, some moments are happier and some are difficult but each moment at a time is all we really have and there isn't a thing that can change it. No guarantees, no real control and we either relish the moment or loose it living in fear. 

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