Journaling

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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Getting ready to move

I got home from Philadelphia just in time to hear from my attorney. We have the funds to make the rent good here but the judge in the divorce court will not allow me to stay. The farm has to be sold immediately and I am thinking he is planning on ordering it to be auctioned soon.

The best my attorney can do is ask on behalf of the animals if we can have a little more time to either find a place for all of us to move or find placement for all of my animals.

When I came back Kylie was still sick with the flu. She still managed to keep the place going and care for all of the animals. My brother stayed with her at night but still it isn't mom.

So, I am looking for a place for us to move and I the best situation would be to again land contract/lease but it will be very difficult without a down payment. I am loosing mine here of $22,500. I hope that if we are blessed and find a place that my friends will help me move because it will be a difficult and fast move.

The sad part is if we could have made it till June I think the judge would have given us more time to get financing based on my job but we just couldn't do it loosing income without any real warning or time to replace it. It just started the ball rolling and basically soured the situation completely. Unfortunately, many animals including Mare Girl are in real danger of not having anywhere to go.

There is a part of me that wishes I wouldn't have helped others and tried to be so understanding, I shouldn't have allowed myself to be taken advantage of. In the beginning I had a really nice offer from someone who had 7 dressage horses and I turned her down because I gave my word. I shouldn't have allowed myself to be nickled and dimed to death over senior feed and things that cost more than what I was charging for board.

I could have turned away rescue dogs, people who were evicted and couldn't pay to keep there dogs but didn't want to loose them. I did all kinds of crazy jobs to make things work, Kylie and I have gone hungry many times, my animals have been hungry as well in order to make sure others animals didn't and in the end that wasn't good enough. It took me six months to find this job and it's a good one, I am very grateful for that but it seems it didn't happen fast enough.

I am loosing all the money I worked 20 years for and it wasn't at easy at times being a single mother, trying to keep things together.

Now is the time to see the power of the Almighty, I struggle with the thinking that I don't deserve something good will come of this, that comes from the years of abuse I endured as a child (people against abortion don't know that there are other ways that children are killed, not physically but emotionally). Still, I have to believe or am trying my hardest to that the Lord will make a way for us. I wish I didn't blog about such sad things as I have in recent weeks. I know it's a downer for people but it is real and it's hard. Hopefully, at some point the joy and humor will come back to this blog but not I think for a little while. 

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