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Used to run a stable and live on a farm, now I am back into banking for awhile. Still have horses and love animals.  

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Praying for others

I have prayed for years for my family and I've prayed for people that I care about and some people I know but am not close to. I asked God why none of my family has ever been healed or chosen to embrace Him was it because I wasn't praying hard enough, believing enough, or am I not right with Him enough.

The answer came quickly and pretty simply I think, He reminded me of how many times I've talked to some of them about Him, they know all the blessings He has given me and how He alone saved my entire household. They know by how I've talked about my relationship with Him that He is my friend and is loving and forgiving. They listened to what I had to say but what they felt was they couldn't let go of their control. My biological family is very much into metaphysical stuff, they try a variety of things to cope with things in their lives and even explain the hurts and the way things happened to them.

I've watched them and listened to them for years as they suffer or believe in their power to control their circumstances. They will all say God does exist, He is kind and acknowledge the bible but they can't go to Him and rely on Him, in other words they have to rely on themselves to feel safe.

Letting go of control is something I had to do because God allowed me to be in a position where I had no choice and it wasn't for a few weeks either. I had to accept day by day, weeks, months and a couple of years that it was all up to Him if we were going to have food, gas, heat, water etc. Sometimes His help would come at the eleventh hour but it always came through the mail, a call about a job, through a friend and even really off the wall ways.

It was hard at first, nerve wrenching and nail biting with so many depending on me. After a time though it gave me great peace, I didn't have to worry and I actually believed not knowing how that He would take care of it all but He did and in ways better than I could have hoped for. In the beginning, I liken it to going cold turkey to beat an addiction, you really feel vulnerable and desperate but again having no choice you went through the shakes and the withdrawals till you get to the other side of it.

I don't know how often God has knocked on my families doors, my parents and siblings or other people I've prayed for, I don't know if they've heard but couldn't allow themselves to take refuge in Him. I feel a sense that the Lord has presented Himself and has looked after them and loves them but they are unable to receive, it isn't that God has chosen not to give but that people are not prepared to receive. Maybe because deep down they hate themselves and don't feel worthy, maybe because they aren't ready to surrender perceived control. Perhaps they think to have a relationship with Him they can't drink anymore and do drugs that the trade off is too much.

Whether we have an addiction or not or anything else that may seem contrary to the Bible, God loves us and will go through it all with us. A parent does not say if you don't stop being messy I won't love  you, I won't be there for you, I'll turn my back on you. Jesus came and suffered and was killed because He loved us and so why would He turn His back on us ever.

Sin stands between us and a loving God? Yes, by our choice not God's that is the deceiving thing about sin, We sin and we cling to it and ignore God and turn away our faces, I don't believe because of Jesus that God turns His face from us because we sinned.

I will continue to pray for my family and people whom I feel I should pray for but it makes me sad and how sad it must make God, to stand on the edge of hope waiting to look down aching to give His love and comfort but because of free will He can't, He can't because we choose not to receive. 

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